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v. private deities 2


(the text of sian’s 2013 voice performance, continued)

ii

when god, another god, not mine, and possibly not yours,

created adam and eve to be her means of adoration,

it was because she had been dumped.

she sat, six days before the world began,

in an Italian restaurant, and the waiters asked if she

was ready yet to order and offered to remove the second setting

on the other side of the candle.

god had grown up strange and incomplete and scarred

bereft of all the social skills that benefit you still in

the ideal realms of intellectual principle and form

where all tables, waiters, mobile phones and jilted

would-be lovers are one

and every touch is shadowed by my skin against yours

and even the sex is platonic.

and she is every lonely individual

and she deserves your love as much

as every blameless recipient of your ignorance.

and god said to her creation, you should know me,

and then she thought it over and said, shit, no, probably you shouldn’t

definitely you shouldn’t, and maybe if you knew god you’d be

ashamed to have been created by a fuck-up like me

because, christ knows, i’m embarrassed, i can’t even look in the mirror

and each reflection here is all reflections

and consequently often far too much to bear,

and god said, see this apple? and adam and eve said, yeah, we see the apple

and god said, don’t eat it, don’t eat, ok?

don’t eat the apple.

don’t eat the apple.

don’t eat the apple.

we know how that turned out.

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notes

a lot of stuff worn before, but once again the search for a new forever skin continues with this lovely one by pumec (from last week’s sales) that is designed  by default to be authentically but gracefully mature looking. it comes with filters to make the face a bit younger our a bit older, but the basic one is fine, honestly. will this be the new forever skin? maybe? stay tuned.