We freak people out.
We’re autistic, we’re weird, we talk about kink stuff and trans stuff and dominance theory all the time. And we freak people out.
It’s easy for Sian to blame them. They’re ableist. They’re messed up and they’ve got stuff going on. But what if Sian is the problem? What if she comes on too strong? What if she’s too intense, too creepy, too weird, too unskilled in social cues? What if her being Like This is actually the problem?
“You’re never going to get better, are you?”
Let’s be honest, it’s been a lifelong struggle, and there’s always going to be that nagging feeling.
You’re always going to lose your thread, forget a thing, not mean a thing, fail to consider a thing, hurt a person, drop things, not see things right in front of you.
You’re going to drop off the map and let people miss you because you don’t have the energy or the capacity or something. Sian loses friends faster than she makes them.
But blaming Sian’s neurodivergence feels like a cop-out. it feels like an abdication of responsibility. It feels like a loss of agency. These are her fuck-ups. These are things she did.
Sian’s never accepted the myth of Neurodivergent Purity. Autistic people can be assholes too (hell, the richest man on earth is both autistic and, manifestly, an asshole). We want to be ethical. We want to take responsibility.
We don’t know how to not do this shit.
It kills us.
Featured:
[ContraptioN] SK3LE2 Prosthetic Arm; T4NQ Stompers; T4NQ Cargos
AVEC TOI Panacea Gloves (right hand)
[Aspect] Carrie Arm Bands Squishy Version – Right
GRIMA Tanya Tactical Top [Reborn]
Also seen:
ZEROICHI REITO Backdrop
SAPA Poses