RL!Sian doesn’t have a face.
Oh, sure, you’ll look at her and you’ll see two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth; she looks perfectly normal to you. But she can’t look in a mirror. She can’t countenance photographs of herself. It’s always been like that: recently she realised that the fact that she doesn’t own a picture album or all that many photos of herself has meant that huge chunks of her life have gone undocumented.
Sian has found that to be a consuming grief. Imagine if you will the associated realisation that she has literally thousands of pictures of her avatar, going back to 2008.
Many Second Life Over the last two years, Sian has worn only three skins for any length of time. She isn’t a skin changer, really. She wore the same skin for five years solid, after all. After that one got deprecated, she was unmoored from having a face she liked for a bit. From the end of July 2024 to the end of November last year, she wore the Tetya Olya skin from Pumec. “Tetya” means “auntie” in Russian, and the look of the skin as a glamorous vaguely Slavic auntie, kind of appealed to Sian quite a lot. She had a bit of an issue with the eyelids, but on the whole she was happy with it.
In Autumn 2025 though, Sian went looking for another mature skin. She settled on the Velour Bia skin. It’s characterful, but its deep asymmetrical creases made it very difficult to work with a lot of makeup and tattoos. Just like real life, then. Also, the eyelids don’t match the eyelids of any of the EvoX heads. They’re really bad. Discovering that Izzie’s does sets of eyelid creases was a game changer, but the face is just too hard to make custom. Still, the face itself has a real personality. Sian liked that.
In May this year, Sian picked up the Nyxxa skin by Zoon at Cyber Fair, a smooth, futuristic sort of face with a ton of options. Easy to use, easy to trick out, and sort of perfect in every way except the age thing. It works beautifully with everything you add to it, and the eyelids are perfect. But it’s too smooth. It’s too pristine.
A couple of weeks ago, Sian found the Azura skin by Voguel at a fair and bought it on impulse. It was in the last post. It’s gorgeous. It’s detailed. It’s not right.
At the top, the four faces on the same shape with the same makeup (also, the Aelix eyes by Euphoric). At the bottom we have them au pixel, so to speak. All the skins are in the Velour “Icy” tone. Sian has experimented with the Frost tone from time to time but it’s too pale. This looks like a human’s skin.
But she’s feeling like going back to Olya again. Maybe she should just settle with that and accept that for all its imperfections, it’s her face.
this is probably a thing RL!Sian should do. But first she needs to try to do something that her virtual self would do. She is currently running a GoFundMe to find her Facial Feminisation Surgeries. She wondered about linking it here, but decided that a) she’s literally only writing this blog for herself and b) her reach is, deliberately, so minimal that any chance of getting helped by it is not going to unbalance the danger that outing herself might potentially pose.
Other Featured items:
AVEC TOI Gage Padlock Thong (Leather)
RAWR! Polarize FEMALE Earrings
DIRAM Victoria Jacket (Yellow); Victoria Fur Arm Warmers (Red)
UTOPIA@Design – “GALYA” – (Reborn)
[Aspect] Khora Squishy Harness
alaskametro<3 “Aquarius” lipstick (variant 6)
Warpaint Lumina Eyeshadow