This follows directly from the last post and it’s the part where we talk about fetishes. Weird fetishes, dark fetishes. This is quickly going to get heavy. It’s redemptive, too, but there are traumatic things that aren’t for kids and aren’t for you if you’re vulnerable or easily offended. That’s not a judgement: some people just can’t and that’s all right. Look after yourself. Tread carefully. Check out if you need to. All of this is really for Sian anyway. No one has to read this. No one is expected to.
It’s fine.
It’s true of every post on this blog, but this post is for ADULTS ONLY. It goes frankly and explicitly into places even many adults do not wish to visit.
Look, we even wrote that in red. We’re serious. Stop reading if you’re going to be icked or hurt. Last warning.
Part 4: This Part Has a Content Warning
Look, Sian and her little family/harem/dollycule of mantra-spouting mind-controlled dolls with bespoke permanently locked brain implants that look like deep holes in their brains are supposed to be unsettling, and we’re supposed to be a bit hot because of that.
We get an erotic kick out of playing a happy band of mind-controlled, lobotomised queers, converted into sex dolls of various kinds, who operate like a cult. Sometimes people find that weird.
Obviously, we are pretending, mostly: the recreational hypnosis is actually real, but there’s a great deal of negotiation, and consent is enthusiastic, even when the capacity to consent is going to be reduced. Especially when the capacity to consent is going to be reduced. But we are playing people who are subject to coercion and external control via dreadful physical changes imposed using a science that would be unethical, illegal, evil in the real world.
Because there’s sex. Not for all of us; at least some of the group are ace or demi. No, then, maybe not sex. At least that isn’t the word. Eroticism. That’s it. Eroticism. So we’re eroticising coercion and brain surgery. Time to stop soft-pedalling: they are, in a fairly obvious sense, rape fantasies. Weird ones, ones where the violence is institutional and dystopia rather than immediately personal, and the coercion is psychological rather than physical. And the sex is mediated, formalised, mandated rather than chaotic and animalistic. The flesh is perverted into a machine, albeit one whose mechanisms are made of the melding of bodies, wet and warm, with technology.
There is a hole in Sian’s skull, allowing access to the brain meat. There’s a flip up window covering it. It’s another orifice, in the Ballardian sense. And it’s just like that bit in Crash — both the Ballard book and the Cronenberg film — where the girl with the kink for getting in car wrecks has this deep, hollow scar that serves as another available avenue of polymorphous perversity, one that the protagonist enthusiastically penetrates.
Whatever you think has happened to Sian’s brain hole, you’re right. It has. Well done.
(You should be ashamed of yourself.)
The fact of these things is, for any person without specialist kinks, horrific. But Sian has led her dolls into Loving Big Brother: they’re aroused by a nexus of absurd and plausible psychological coercion fantasies, fleshly transformation fantasies. Sian, Calypso, Scarlett, Evadne and Lucent gain erotic fulfilment, virtually, from wiped minds and sexually converted bodies. The brain becomes a literal sexual organ. Inside our heads is another place to cum.
That’s a metaphor, obviously. We’re not doing this for Realsies.
Part 5: No, Really, We Are Not Doing This for Realsies
Sian’s gone over this before, but not in this version of the blog. So let’s reiterate. We are not doing this for realsies. Seriously, have you gone wrong!? Why would you even think that?
But it is a perfectly normal reaction. When you see the darker and stranger kinks, or even those that are real-world niche but SecondLife mainstream, like the Gorean kink, which seems with its odd gamification of power hierarchies better made for the virtual realm than the real, there is always the tension there: would you do this twisted [PURITY] for realsies if you had the power, the money, the connections?
Are we all potential Jeff Dahmers?
OK, real talk: Sian has met people in the scene who, if we’re honest, would do this for realsies given the chance. the reason the kink scene has so many rules about being safe, sane and consensual is because so many predators exist in it. There is a proportion of bad people in the kink scene equal to the proportion of bad people in the vanilla world at large.
We don’t fuck with them. We cast them into the outer darkness. Consider: in the period of time during which Sian was writing this post, we had an incident where one Desbreco Resident invaded our space while Sian and her wife Calypso were engaging in pretty vanilla intimacies, hijacked the sex sofa and began to simulate raping Calypso. The security kicked him out in a brief amount of time. He got banned from our parcel. We filed reports. We were outraged. We didn’t ask for that. It wasn’t part of our play. Sian doesn’t name names normally, but this guy deserves public censure. We posted about it on Primfeed, and lo, someone turned up and said he’d been sending virtual UDPs of his virtual D to people.
Yes, we’re naming names. If you see him, ban him from your parcel. He’s a predator.
“But wait, aren’t you playing publicly available mind-controlled sex slaves? Why should you be offended by this? Aren’t you asking for it?”
No. We’re not asking for it, because it’s pretend. It’s roleplay. No one we play with is doing it for real. If anyone crosses the boundary, we cut it loose. You can play with us, but you will understand what we’re doing.
And this gets to the crux of it: you have to understand the most important part of why we are doing this: not doing it for Real is the actual point.
We do this, safely, consensually and mostly sanely, because it’s completely horrifying. It’s unconscionable in Real Life. It appals us. It repels us. Our frisson is the same frisson we get from really good horror movies: the thrill of the roller coaster, of being taken on a trip to annihilation. It is cathartic because we, all of us some variety of genderfluid and neurodivergent, living lives where we are shamed for living in overwhelm, where we are forbidden control, where we are called perverts for needing with every fibre of our being to mould our bodies into a form we long for, cope with it by becoming the very thing the billionaires tell you to believe we already are — brainwashed, mutilated, stripped of agency, spouting empty catchphrases — and we have control over it.
It’s ours.
And we’re queering it, too. We’ve got ethics.
Part 6: The Cyberdoll Manifesto
We have a manifesto, in fact.
Well, sort of. Sian’s blogged it. Maybe it’s time to make a formal point of it. But also, have we written enough for today? Possibly.
Next time, promise.
In the meantime, for further reading:
- 23.0 Theses on the Queer Villain Arc
- 21.0 This is All Pretend
- xxx.11 Realsies
- xxx.12 Mother Knows Best
Pictures taken at: Hangars Liquides
Featured
Lelutka Raven head
eBODY REBORN body; Juicy Boobs addon; Juicy Rolls addon
MAZE.mods Soft Thighs; Stockings for Soft Thighs (customised)
[the Skinnery] Anais face skin, peach; Orra mature body skin, peach
LILITHIUM Cyberdoll bands (customised)
::Static:: Tsutsumu Tape (Glove, customised)
NGW Desire Jacket (customised)
[ContraptioN] Sheerline Pants (customised); SK3LE2 Prosthetic Arm
AZOURY Zephyrella shoes (customised); Talalay Robot Ears (customised)
Koloriko Leather Collar (customised)
[KROVA] Safety Belt (customised)
WOM Basic panties(customised)
alaskametro<3 “Desert Planet” (lipstick variant 03); “Honey” (eyeshadow variant 01)
Samia Harriet eyeshadow layer (yellow)