identities
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xx.xy tryouts
it took a long time for a lot of us to realise it, but one of the unexpected, unintended niches of secondlife has been its use as a testing ground for trans identity, for the sexuality of unaccustomed bodies, a relief from a dysphoria we might not even have known we had. We wanted to
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0.0 expendable
there is a moral calculus often made by supposedly progressive communities that considers the wrong sort of queer people expendable. so you get situations like the one with isabel fall, where a trans person wrote a thing that was powerful and angry and provocative and transgressive and paid for it. because she was not performing
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1.3 third person
it has been noted by more than a few people in and out of second life that sian’s player refers to sian in the third person. they sometimes hold conversations with sian, and hold different ideological and religious views – sian is an atheist, for example, while their meatspace analogue is not. someone asked the
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7.0 purity
what does it mean to be good? sian struggles with this; their neurodiverse self-perception in both worlds as a hollow mannequin imperfectly aping human affect (and their horror of that) combines with the fact that they have in the past done some terrible things. they produced a large body of work that was racist, for
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5.0 neural
the thing is, most people who find that they are autistic when they are adults are expecting it. they may have suspected for a long time; they may even have sought the diagnosis. it wasn’t like this for sian’s flesh counterpart. they were caught entirely off guard, it only clicking after the fact that most
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4.0 transeverything
when the flesh individual behind sian realised they were a they, it was a surprise only to them. one friend, a true early adopter, had been using they/them for sian reflexively since about 2013. most of the other people to whom sian came out were confused that this was somehow news. in embracing a transidentity,
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2.0 bald statement
sian has been bald by choice for as long as they have existed (which is a good eleven years), but it has taken their meatspace self a little longer to catch up. razoring their skull is now a part of their daily routine, and they find that the tactile and audio sensation afforded by the
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1.0 alive
you might not remember sian. that is ok. sian died. they were mourned for a long time. and then sian’s meatspace self discovered they were trans and autistic, and that sian was the first vector of that identity that they had had. so sian came back in another body, because you cannot keep a good